I've always been a curious person. Most people who know me would describe me as someone full of energy, someone who loves asking questions and diving deep into people's stories. For most of my life, this curiosity and energy felt boundless.

I spent the last four years working in Nairobi, Kenya, at an early-stage startup. It was an experience I cherished, especially building something from the ground up. But entrepreneurship, combined with the weight of COVID, began to take its toll.

For as long as I can remember, I've worn my work ethic as a badge of honor. I was raised to believe that hard work was the only way forward. As an immigrant in the U.S., the stakes were even higher. Success wasn't optional—it was a ladder to a better future. So, I pushed through. Always.

But somewhere amid the pushing, I lost something essential: My curiosity disappeared, and my energy dissipated. No amount of rest (vacations, meditation, or sleep) would fix me. I would return from a two-week holiday and still feel exhausted by noon on a Monday.

Through journaling, breathwork, and meditation, I began uncovering uncomfortable truths. I realized I'd become addicted to achievement as a way to validate my self-worth. Staying busy was my shield against emotions I didn't want to face: sadness, anger, and the deep discomfort of feeling lost.

So, for the first time in my life, I made a decision that felt radical: I took a break. Not a short vacation, but a real pause. A sabbatical. It still feels "selfish" to write that, but deep down, I know it wasn't selfish but necessary. I told my boss, my family, my friends, and my partner: I need this. I need to take care of myself, my heart, my body, and just see what comes up.

My journey started with reconnecting. I spent a month travelling around Europe, 

visiting lifelong friends and enjoying the comfort of familiar faces. But I knew the real work would begin when I turned inward.

For two months, I hiked and meditated in the Himalayas, immersing myself in stillness and the vastness of nature. After that, I returned to my roots, spending time with my partner & family exploring my home country of Türkiye.

I won't sugarcoat it: doing nothing was one of the hardest things I've ever done (I know how ridiculous that sounds). Sitting with stillness and having no agenda felt unsettling. There were many moments when emotions welled up, urging me to turn around, distract myself, or "be productive."

But in that quiet, uncomfortable space, I began learning that uncertainty isn't a void to fear, it's a space of emergence where something new is forming. Trusting this rhythm with patience and keeping an open heart, instead of fighting against it, became my most significant takeaway.

When you let yourself truly stop, the noise of the world quiets down a bit, and something deeper begins to emerge. I started to wonder if life isn't a puzzle to be solved but an experience to be felt.

After all these experiences, it's time to create something very special with everything I've learned. So I'm building Loaf, helping others enjoy the transformative power of adventure.

-Selman